Theory 9: Genderlect Theory

Analytical Text – “What men say and what women hear”

Deborah Tennan (2002) claimed that communication styles between men and women are different. She described the communication as cross-cultural where men and women speak in different dialect and language instead of viewing it as inferior and superior way of speaking. Tennan also figured out that there is miscommunication between the 2 opposite sex because generally they both use language differently – different purpose. In this case, Tennan’s genderlect theory aims to acknowledge and appreciate the language of the opposite sex and thus men and women can achieve mutual respect and understanding.

Although men and women are seen similar in many levels, but differ greatly in the way they communicate. Genderlect theory reveals how men and women subconsciously communicate in different way as they might simply misinterpret the meaning of the words and actions done by others. This is because they have their own set vocabulary and preferred topics for instance, men focus on report talk (status and achievement) whereas women focus on rapport talk – seek for human connection and share personal feelings. Based on the text of “what men say and what women hear”, it shows a situation when men speak to women and as women hear, they interpret the meaning differently meanwhile men mean it differently and thus it leads to misunderstanding. For example, when women say yes to a man, it means maybe, when women say maybe, it means no and when women say no, it means try harder.

Apart form that, Tennan’s (1992) once said that “These cultural differences include differing expectations about the role of talk in relationships and how it fulfils that role”. It means that individuals need to be what people expect them to be. In other words, it involves stereotyping because the society shapes an individual. It also depends on the pattern on how they are raised. In this case, it involves stereotyping of male and female. Men are expected to be masculine, thus they should to be able to speak in public and taught to fix things. On the other hand, female are expected to make connections and be emotional as well as they are taught to value intimacy – mother, wife and friend.

According to Tannen, she believes that both men and women need to learn on how to speak and adopt in each other’s voice. She further claimed that the effort of understanding the different types of communication between men and women is worthwhile, as it will enhance better working relationships and help reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. Also, when there is a mutual understanding between male and female, it will bridge the cultural gap between 2 opposite sexes.

However, Kunkel and Burleson criticize Tannen for saying that women do better when communicating than me, but they see that both gender place an equally high value on comforting communication. For example, both men and women view a highly person centered comforting messaged as most sensitive and ineffective. They also reject the idea of viewing men and women as different cultures perspectives. They believed that the idea was a myth which had lost its narrative force. Senta Troemel-Ploetz, a feminist scholar, accused Tannen for ignoring issues of male dominance, control, powe, sexism, discrimination, sexual harassment and verbal insults in her book. This is because feminist see men used to dominate women and they do it especially in conversation and women are trained to please where they have to please also in conversations.

In conclusion, Tannen (2002) believes that the best way to describe communication between the genders is in a cross-cultural format. Both genders misinterpret the meaning of the words and actions done by others because they have their own set of vocabulary and preferred topics. It also depends on the pattern established from childhood to adulthood and how the society expects them to be. Tannen also believed that both gender need to learn each other language to create mutual understanding. However, Kunkel and Burleson argued that both gender place an equally high value on comforting and Senta accused Tannen for not raising the issue of male dominance.

REFERENCES:

Griffin, E. (2012). A First Look At Communication. 8^th Edition. Pp. 435-440, 443-445. New York: McGraw Hill.

Kramarae, C. (1981). Women and men speaking. Rowley: Newbury House.

Tannen, D. (1990). You just don’t understand. New York: Ballantine.